Thursday, September 22, 2011

Fattie!!! Yes?... Yes I am PHAT!

Chubby Sexy Librarian by TheTripleFool

I have never been thin. I have never experienced being skinny. Do I want to be thin? Yes, somehow I do. Living in this society where the idea of beauty lies in being thin and sexy, people like me who are big, fat and chubby rarely stand a chance to be tagged as beautiful.

I have started my day by reading a thread in a forum. It is about dating someone who is chubby and the comments were flabbergasting. People like me are really despised and thought as horrible and ugly. Guys would never date a fat chick. Even a fat chick with a pretty face. Someone once mentioned that when he sees a pretty but fat girl, he only sees a fat girl, period. Not even a pretty face can save someone from the resentment of being fat. I totally understand that being fat is unattractive. The persons health is at stake and takes most of the concern. Physically, the flabs, the bumps, the stretchmarks and all is horrible.

Not that I am being proud of being fat. I was never proud of being one. I grew up being mocked and being browbeaten because of my built. I went on for the past 27 years of my life being looked at with disgust by some people. I have been trying hard to lose weight. I have been trying hard to be thin. I have been trying hard to be ACCEPTED.

Love wearing hats! January 2011

Maybe it is me who's to be blamed. Perhaps I never tried enough. Perhaps I don't have enough discipline. But I've been struggling with diet and exercise. I love being active. I swim, and I do love swimming. I run, I box. I love being active. But still, I have these. These flabs, these bumps. Im not trying to defend my state, not at all. In fact I was blaming myself. Not enough effort, not enough.

Going back to the thread I read. Honestly I was dispirited. Then I asked the "youre not supposed to be thinking like that" kinds of question. Is this the reason why I am single? Is this the reason why no one is dating me? Is this the reason why I cant find love? LOVE. Yes.

I love me. I love who I am. I have long accepted that I am fat, never to be thin. I have accepted that I am big and that I wont ever wear a size 4. But I love fashion! I love styling up. I love dolling up. I love being a woman. And I am a woman. Yes, a fat woman.

Summer 2011

I am a person. I have feelings. I get hurt when someone thinks im disgusting because of how I look. Somehow people sees us fatties differently. But honestly, I never though I am different. I have always thought that I am equal with everyone. I have always thought that I am beautiful, that I am on top of my game, that I am attractive, that I can be happy despite of how I look.

Happy Summer Day!

No wonder ladies like me are tough, independent, powerful. We endure a lot. We spend time a lot in making ourselves accepted by the society, and because of that, we learned to love ourselves more than any others. We never depend our happiness towards others who cant see our worth. We are happy because we are us., because we know what is our worth.

Fun Friday walk with my buddies.

I am fat, I am happy, I am fun. I will dress up, be fashionable, be pretty. I will laugh, I will have fun, I will live my life. I am sexy, I am gorgeous, I am desirable. This is me. This is who I am. :)

(Note: Forgive me if this is a "me" post (with all my pictures and stuff) and you thought that its such a waste of time. But hell I care, this is my blog! Bleh!)


Unknown said...

"I will laugh, I will have fun, I will live my life. I am sexy, I am gorgeous, I am desirable. This is me. This is who I am."

And that's exactly who you ought to be! =^_^= Right on!


jssica wabbitty said...

Thanks Morgan for dropping by my blog. Thanks so much for being an inspiration. :) Your blog rules!

kay said...

and I will continue to tell you that those who despise fatties are the ones who are most scared to be fat .... simply because when they lose their skinny ass bodies .. there is nothing there to see ... they are a blank empty space ...


jssica wabbitty said...

Thank you kay. Thanks for always reminding me of how awesome we plus sized ladies are. :) Muah.

Aria said...

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, dear. Cheer up. You are sexy in your very own way. I suggest you stop reading those threads because, really, it's not worth your time. People are inherently vicious and prejudiced. All that should matter is the love you feel for yourself.

My weight constantly fluctuates. I'm skinny one day, curvy the next, and then "phat" at times. What I realized is that a smaller dress size doesn't really equate with happiness.

Stay proud of yourself. ;)

jssica wabbitty said...

Thanks Aria! *hugs* Youre not only beautiful on the outside but definitely more gorgeous inside. :)

The Average Jane said...

I would never have guessed you felt like this, especially during the times I met you and your sis during wedding preps. I always thought nga you were so fab! I loved your fashion sense ever since we met.

Don't beat yourself up over this. Its not worth it, believe me. =)

Stay happy and fabulous! Mwah! =)

jssica wabbitty said...

Thanks Tin. :) I just contemplate on these things sometimes but whenever people like you say things to me like this, I would say to myself that my whining is useless. Hehe. :) Thanks.

Roni Flores said...

Hi Jessica, just by reading your blog, one can immediately glean that you are a beautiful person, inside and out. Your happiness simply comes forward to your readers. Stay happy AND pretty!

Brian M said...

I for one (of many) think you're not only sexy because of your truly beautiful body (I mean it!), but also because of your acceptance of your body and the confidence you exude. Were I not already taken (by a woman who has curves too), I would be beeming with pride to be on your arm and doting on you as my partner.

jssica wabbit said...

Roni - thanks pretty! :)

Brian - Thanks too! :)

Im really flattered. Haha!