Sunday, March 13, 2011


The Kiss by Gustav Klimt

Alright, so here I go again. I know this sounds pretty bad but I thought otherwise. I have begun a beautiful story that would basically end beautifully. I know the ending is not what I really wanted it to be, not the ones that would make me happy but at least the ones that’s gonna make me a better person.

I know I have this all together as long as I analyze every thought I am processing. I know exactly what to do with each predicament I am facing. I know exactly what to say, what to do, how to feel and how to react. All I need is self control, the hardest thing ever.

This as beautiful as this shall be understood. We have to face the fact that not all wonderful things that we think we ought to have shall be ours. Sometimes a piece of cake is served to us but even if we wanted the whole thing, we know that its bad for us. I had my piece, atleast I had what I badly wanted over the weekend.

I still ponder on the kiss. The sweetest kiss I had so far. :)

If I should consider it a dream, it was a sweet dream and a nightmare all at the same time. I have been precariously thinking about how sweet and unfortunate things could be for the whole day. I tried sleeping but thoughts of him still lingers. I wanted to be with him but I know I must not yearn. Its not right.

I don’t want to blame God yet again for this incident. I know that this dilemma has been presented to me once again because I know that I must learn something from this. I learned something alright. I know I did and I know that this made me a better person then again.

More often than not nowadays, I always think that life is unfair for me. I have learned to accept that as a reality and somehow it converted me into believing that things arent gonna go my way all the time. I have a very little capacity to understand the full meaning of things in retrospect but I still struggle to understand each and every occurence of pain in my life.

One of the most blissful weekends so far of my 2011. it was wonderful. :) I am distressed, but at the same time I have found joy in it. If I could have bits and pieces of that and put them all together, it could compose of a great love story. :)

I cant even remember how exactly he looks like. All I remember are the kisses...

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