Thursday, November 4, 2010

In A Hurry?

What makes people so desperate in finding a partner? Simple. There are 6 things that cause this.

1. Insecurity - alas! I have found a date! I kinda like him, maybe it would work out this time. Maybe he finds me attractive enough for him that’s why he asked me out on a date. Maybe he finds something in me that he thinks adorable. I have to keep him interested in me. I have to please him. I have to show him too that I am much interested in him or he might notice other woman if I show him disinterest.

Date would end and it went oh so fine! Youre smelling a follow up date. (or so as you think) hours passed after he sends you home, youre at your room waiting for him to call. Shit! Why isnt he calling me or texting me to check up on me if I enjoyed the date? Oh my! did I do something wrong? Did I turn him off? Did he really mean it when he told me the dress I wore looks good on me? Maybe he was just polite that’s why he told me that he also enjoyed the date while we were on our way home. The next day he texted, he told you how much he enjoyed the date, you promised yourself you would do better on the next date and so the journey to a relationship will start.

2. Clock is ticking - im not getting any younger! I need to be in a relationship fast! Oh this guy? Pwede na to! Me work naman sya eh.Im of age already, I need to be in a relationship. All my friends are in a relationship with someone already. I need to fit in the crowd fast! Or, its already the holidays, I need a man who will introduce to the family dinner! Or I need to have a boyfriend for me to bring to my bestfriends wedding!

3. Discontent- I don’t like the last guy I dated. This one is better than the last boyfriend I had. Hes taller than my last. He seems to be wittier.

4. Fear - what if hes the one and I have let go of him? What if he was the one who was sent to me by God? Hindi ko na sya papakawalan kasi sya na yata. Oo sya na nga yata. Ayoko nang mag isa ulit. Malungkot.

5. Selfishness - ive got to have this man! I need to be with this man for he seems to be the one for me. I cant let him date other girls! What if makahanap pa sya ng mas better sakin? (theres goes the fear again)

6. Desperation- I have been single and alone and lonely for quite some time. Maybe this is the chance for me to be in a real relationship. I wanted to be with someone. I have got to be with someone fast. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I don’t want to feel the loneliness again! No! I cant let this happen to me and so I will have the first person who offers a relationship with me.

Ladies and gents, thing is this. SETTLING is actually not the way to do it. PATIENCE is what this situation calls for.

Many of us jump from one failed relationship to the other simply because we are in a hurry to be with someone. We have reasons I know but then again it boils down to the thought that we want everything to be at fast track.

In my own personal experience, somehow I regretted (wait I don’t want to use the word regret). Alright, sometimes I tend to look back and wish that my decisions were more mature in terms of involving myself in a relationship. Admittedly I used to be in a hurry and settle for the first available person that I get my hands into. I have learned that there are some things that we must learn about ourselves so that we would be able to see what we really deserve. There were times that I did fear that I will be alone for the rest of my life and so I have to make sure that it wont happen by forcing a relationship to work even if the obvious is very prominent from the beginning . What is the obvious? It is when you know and you feel that the person you are trying a relationship with is not as willing to make things work as you are. You will sense that the commitment is lacking. Time spent with you is deficient. Alibis would always demonstrate and the gut feel would always tell you that there is something wrong in the relationship. Time and again you would feel that what youre doing is wrong while you are in that relationship and still you try every possible exculpation that everything will work out well eventually. You are just making yourself up for a major heartbreak that personally you have caused yourself. So take it easy next time. Breathe. Feel the persons sincerity to you and wait until you are certain that he or she is the right person for you. Someone who will treat you right and someone that is worthy of your time.

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