Sunday, May 16, 2010

Trapped

I don’t really know if its just me, or the technological lifestyle I am living is the way of life for most of the people nowadays. To sum up my web time, I basically spend more hours online than doing things that typically people should be doing. Sometimes I think, am I still utilizing the web right? Or am I going overboard?

Lack of time perhaps or because it is just convenient for me, I took my social life into the internet and made most of my recent encounters there. Not knowing and not expecting I would be entering a great deal of emotional roller coaster.

Not knowing how to react and how to deal with a situation I am in now. I think the blame has to be my endless hours online and signing up for millions of different social networking sites online. Meeting people who are interesting and who accidentally have been holding so much of my interest for the past weeks.

I’m in a bliss thinking of having a sweep-me-off-my-feet romance with someone so far away from me. I am so attracted that I think its totally insane! Dealing with this kind of emotion is a little too juvenile for me, for lately ive been, or at least trying to do grown up stuff. Not that I don’t want it, I completely dig the “kilig” moments and the sleepless nights thinking of what if’s. It’s totally making me feel different and alive at the same time. I never thought I could still arrive in this particular emotional state which I tried so much to ignore for some time right now.

It’s a breath of fresh air. Its seventh heaven and im kinda liking it. But what if I let myself be in this state for a long time? Am I on again for a disappointment?

Oh why? Why does he have to be so cunning? Why does he have to be so foxy? Why does he have to be so like me in almost anything? Why do we share the same provocativeness? Or should I be asking why did I meet him in the first place? And most importantly, why does he have to be so far from me? Darn!

Now I have to go back blaming my inexhaustible online time. Shall I lessen it? Shall I delete all my social networking sites? Shall I cut my phone line and my internet connection? Shall I ignore him? Shall I ignore my budding feelings for him? Shall I?

I am being a coward. This is not good.

Oh well, we will see.

There must be some sort of a special reason why this happened to me. A sign? A task? A lesson? Perhaps destiny? Oh im being cheesy.

Alright im’a cut the crap and go back chatting. Haha! Goodness I am trapped in an internet prison! But im oh so loving it.

No comments: