Friday, April 2, 2010

He cant be the one because he refused to be the one.

What shall I wear?
Oh gosh im really nervous!

Yes, I have never been nervous in a date for a long time and this will be the first time then again that I am feeling aflutter in going out with someone.

The drive going to Megamall is pretty relaxing. I was playing some Ibiza music to calm my nerves.
Will he like me?
Will I like him?
Will he kiss me?
Is he gonna be nice to me?

Oh gosh I cant wait to arrive there.

As I parked my car and walked towards the mall entrance, thought of having a relationship and being committed flashed into my mind. Do I really want to be in a relationship? Why am I even thinking about it? I don’t even know if he's gonna like me or not!

He sent me an sms telling me where we will meet. We agreed on what place he'l meet me and off I walked towards that place.

From afar I saw a man wearing a white shirt. Neat I thought. :)

I have waited for him to ask me out for almost a month. I have been anticipating things that we could do and things that we could talk about. I have been imagining how the chemistry between the both of us could be. I am thinking how wonderful our date will be. All are coming true tonight.

He brought me to the arcade. We laughed and talked and played like were kids. I enjoyed it very much, and I know from there that I do like him very much. I do.

The night ended with a kiss as he walked me through my car. I liked the way he kissed me. So sweet and charming. At that time, I thought, why not? He seems to be a very appealing man. We exchanged a couple of text messages after that.

But a few weeks have passed and I havent heard anything from him anymore. At first I assumed that maybe hes busy and I know that he has always been like that. But I was wrong. :( he never liked me.

I know dating is trial and error. He doesn’t like me ok. But darn I like him a lot! These are the times wherein I would hope that we women can do what men can do. I wanted him, I mean I wanted to give it a shot.

How I wish I could flood him with text messages. I wish I could ask him out again for a date. I wish that I could do something for him to like me back. But I know I cant. I cant because I am a woman. I cant because I am me, not pushing herself to someone who doesn’t like her. I said I like him, but is that enough for me to have his mind change about liking me as well? No I don’t think so.

He's wonderful. He is witty and charming. He loves arts and music. He talks sensibly. He's handsome and alluring and he's sexy. He's someone that I wanted. Somebody that I's like to be with. Someone whom I imagined talking to and make love with. But he's not gonna be anything like that. Because he refused to.

Too bad.

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