Friday, March 5, 2010

The Casanova


I don’t really know if it was the beach vacation I just had, or the impeccable charm that this man have that makes me recently dreamy.

Earlier this afternoon, on my way home, I set some Vivaldi on the background and lazily read some Edgar Allan Poe's. I had again recalled how hasty it was for me to be off to dreamland whenever I think about this guy.

One thing that turns me on is a great conversation. An intellectual one that seemingly impossible to have in a normal setting. Whenever I get involve in this kind of conversation, I would directly consider it as uncommon for I rarely get to talk to anybody in a very arousing intellectual conversation as such.

Few days ago, about a week past, I get to talk to this someone who has the same fixation to music as I do. We chatted about the genres we love, from dub to jazz, to house and techno, from rock to classical. We then discovered our love for Vivaldi and Eric Satie, how we both find it romantic and relaxing at the same time. We hashed out talking about how the Gymnopedie's makes me wanna fly and be free. I find that very sexy!

One time, in the middle of the night, I received an sms from him saying odd statements like he thinks were soulmates. That we he somehow feels a connection between us, that maybe we were lovers in our past lives, maybe two horny love birds that were inseparable. He then created this vision of us together in a white sand beach, with candles, champagne and caviar, making love until the break of dawn. I find that sexy and romantic...

I am not in the mood to fall in love nor talk about romance these days. I find this solitary confinement a bit joyful. :) but then again, I wont deny that thinking about him with all those sweet sweet thoughts makes me feel elated at my lone times.

A vision of a sunny Saturday morning always pops up into my mind whenever I think of him. Us, together, talking about the dreamy settings we both want to have , just being together listening to music. We would kiss and touch each other passionately. We would be spending the whole morning driving towards the nearest beach for a short weekend getaway. I would play some soft music as he drives. We would look at each others eyes and feel the burning passion channeling between us. We would then spend the whole afternoon idly sitting at the beach front, getting a tan, feeling the scorching summer breeze, staring at the clear blue skies, still saying nothing, talking about nothing, but just feeling. As the night approaches, we would sit still, glaring upon the bright moon and star filled sky, of course Vivaldi's four seasons (summer) is playing. We would then make love the whole night, passionately feeling every inch or our skin. Feeling every breath we make as we move closer together. The kisses were burning with passion. The sensation is overwhelming as if every molecules in our bodies are reacting to our love making. We would then end the night, as we welcome the sunrise happy, fulfilled and contented.

In that scene though, love isnt much the theme. I don’t know, its like I wanted that thought to remain as is. There's no "what will happen the next day?" or "what about our wedding day?". That imaginary scene will be just like that. That's a scene that I would gladly visualize over and over and over again without worrying what's next.

Same thing with this man. Although he is a real person, I would love to consider him as a fragment of my imagery. I wanted him to stay in that place, not being concrete, not coming to life. Because if that happens, I am certain that all these fantasy will disperse into thin air.

I would gladly entertain him in my mind. I will gladly create more dreamy scenes for the both of us. But I have to make sure that it will stay here, in the little corner of my psyche. Never allowing it to be existent...

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