I have always been fearful in making myself realize that he is out of my life. I would always still think that he would come back to me, tell me he loves me and that he cannot live without me. I still would pray that he would talk to me still and tell me that he will stay with me. I guess gone are those days. For I know that there is nothing left for us to have. No love, no affection, no care, no nothing.
It kills me to think that it is over but I know it is definitely over. I have to move on and start anew without him beside me. I have got to re arrange my life and not include him in it. I guess I have to plan my future without him , see myself moving on without him.
I wanted not to cry anymore. I wanted not to think about us anymore. I wanted to be free from pain that I get from him. But I want him to stay, to be with me for the rest of my life. I guess we really cant have what we really want.
To start off the year, I will try my best not to be consumed by this relationship anymore. I wanted to have a life wherein I can be truly happy and at peace.
A friend of mine read my twits and realized I was a devastation and so she sent me a song to listen to. Ouch, that hurts. :(
It is over. :(